Dance Stages
The Treasure Hunt
I think of 5 Stages of Dancing. Before describing those, though, I need to emphasize:
The Stages are about Tools and Skills, NOT people.
We are All at all of the 5 Stages all the time, at different things.
If you are thinking you’re Advanced,
it is probably time to go “begin” something new in dance
We can never know more than a tiny amount
of what is possible to know about dance.
I am still a “beginner“,
after dancing 150,000+ dances with 20,000+ dances
I constantly experience New and Wonderful things.
The 6 Stages of learning new things about Dance:
Stage 1
Eager to learn something new
While afraid of appearing inadequate
Stage 2
Getting “it” a little
Ready to start trying in at home alone
and taking a chance with it on the dance floor
Stage 3
Getting Comfortable with Your new Skill
Starting to “look” like the image you have of the Skill
Comfortable doing it with a Dance Partner
Stage 4
You “mastered” it.
You “understand” all the pieces of the skill.
You’ve mastered the “look” of it.
Alas, you have not yet grasped the MEANING of the skill.
Musically speaking, you are playing the “notes” of the skill,
But are putting no MUSIC into it
It’s like bike riding….
You can UNDERSTAND every bit and piece of it,
but you can’t actually DO it until you FEEL it.
This is the only unhappy dance skill stage.
You simply cannot know what you do not know.....
Until you EXPERIENCE with someone who actually UNDERSTANDS the Music of it.
Which is why modesty is so important to becoming a better dancer.
Stage 5
The Physics and the Body Sense and the Music and the Connection Come Together
The Magic and Understanding FLOWS.
One of my hardest bridges years ago was getting comfortable asking pros in styles I don’t know, to dance! Generally, we have a ball, because I can throw in stuff they don’t know. Interestingly, if anything, that works better for me with male pros... still trying to understand that one! Maybe because we are both outside our safety zone?
Beginners are blessings!!! They haven’t learned all the “Dont’s”. That brings freshness and new ideas, if you are listening. Most dance inventions are rooted in turning a “mistake” into something exciting and new. I often josh nervous beginners with this line: “There are no mistakes in dancing, just new moves.” A couple of the quick ones have come back with: “Wow, we’re really inventing lots of new moves aren’t we?” Amen, Pardner!!
With Beginners, I just keep them turning and laughing and having a good time.
Stage 2, “Eager to Learn”.... easy to dance with, too. Just smile and laugh and fill up their tool boxes.
Pros are easy, too. They just want to PLAY. They rarely get to do that, because everybody wants to practice with them. They don’t NEED to practice. PLAY with them and they will love you for it, even if your skill levels are much lower than theirs in their style. Throw in some silliness, and maybe something you know from a different style. They need some fun, too! I’ve danced with hundreds of Pros, men and women. A few are sour pusses. Most just love to dance and love to share their Joy. Don’t worry about your skill with them. Worry about how to give THEM some fun.... you’ll get paid by a hundred fold.
I’ve long been least strong with dancers with intermediate size tool boxes. I too often, when trying to share interesting tools, have instead offended.
I re-invent my dancing about once every 5 years, as my growing dance tool box uncovers new ways to look at dance. I have been doing that all of 2023. One of the the main drivers: “How can I be a better dancer with dancers of intermediate tool boxes?” I’m not entirely sure what I am doing, but it HAS been working much better in recent months, across many styles.
If an intermediate isn’t following well, well then I just must double down on being a better lead, right? If my perception that I have a bigger tool box (doubtful, always), then I should be proving it, by re-directing their “mistake” into something new for BOTH of us. That is MY responsibility, not theirs.
Most important, do it with lots of Smiles and Laughter. Those fix most things on the dance floor.
I have a new model for Intermediate Sized Tool Box Dancers, thanks to the provocative ideas in the current WhatsApp thread:
My new, more specific model for dancing with a smaller tool box, in 3 minutes of magic:
1) Make sure ALL of the drawers in my Dance Tool Box are unlocked and ajar, and open for browsing. ENCOURAGE that with lots of Smiles and Laughter and Play.
2) Gently pry open as many of my partner’s Tool Drawers as I can, so I can USE their tools for more fun, for both of us.
3) While rummaging, take mental pictures of Tools I’ve never seen before, and may have no idea right now how to use. Gems for growing my future Tool Box.
4) And.... leave a few Tools behind in their Tool Box, that perhaps they can find and learn how to use later, with other dancers.
Hmmn. I’m realizing that I am doing better with Intermediate Tool Box dancers, because I’m having more FUN with them, because I’m learning MORE from them. Call me Selfish!
We ALL need to constantly open and share our Tool Boxes. They are Treasure Boxes for other dancers. They NEED to be shared.
The hardest thing always in life, and on the dance floor, is to learn the things that we don’t know exist. That is MOST of what happens on the dance floor. By constantly rummaging in each other’s Dance Tool Boxes, we can find those Treasures that we know nothing about.
Rummage through my Tool Box, anytime, on or off the dance floor. Ask questions. Try new stuff. Break my Boxes. Please!
No matter how big or small your Tool Box, share it with me. There is something in it that I’ve never experienced. I swear, there are dance tools that were invented for a particular note in a particular song. I’d love to have that tool, for that note in the future.
In 2024, my "Treasure Hunt" model has been involving into a different, but closely linked model:
Just 2 Little Things
The concept is this: Try, in every single dance, to give your partner something nice, and be open for and looking to get some gift back from them.
The "gift exchange" piece of that is powerful in coming together as partners, working together, as equals on the dance floor.
The "something" can be a wide variety of things:
Something I do / or know / or think, that you might not know about.
Recognizing that every partner knows stuff about dancing that you do not. It very carefully avoids "I know more than you and you should do..."., instead replacing it with "this is an idea for you to consider", in the context of TRADING dance ideas and growing together.
It does not have to be verbal. We're dancing! The communication and connection in dance is often far better and clear and subtle than words. Use it!
The "something" can also just be a great compliment, in the form of
a smile,
or noting something cool your partner has just done
Or asking about something they just did
The dance floor is a fearsome place.... We all need affirmation. If BOTH partners are trying their best to give it, connection magic happens.