Trading Dance Roles

Today's young dancers are bringing a great new level of connection to dancing:

> Trading traditional Lead and Follow roles.

Radical!

Learning "the other side" improves your dancing. Believe me, if you are a man and start Following, you will soon feel the difference between poor and good and amazing Leading. And you will be Leading better fast!

Women have always danced together, often driven by the fact there traditionally have always been more women than men on the dance floor (which is not so true anymore). Still, well over 99% of all social dances are a man Leading and a woman Following.

The younger the crowd, though, the less the traditional roles hold sway. All the way down to only 80% at some venues!

Many younger women have a strong desire to learn to lead the past few years and many have become quite good at it.

Heck. Practice on me! Ask me!

Men? Traditionally, that has triggered strong social and cultural emotions: "Whoa! Don’t go there!"

It is a very difficult transition for men over 50. There are only two men over 50 that I dance with. One, Patrick, I reduced to a sputtering mess the 2nd or 3rd time we danced, when I facetiously asked: "I don’t remember doing this in high school. How about you?" He about fell over laughing: "Oh f #$%, no!"

But why not? A young Air Force Lieutenant I dance with, several years ago said this to me: "I like dancing with the young women, and the older women, and the men.... heck, I like to dance with everybody!" That struck me: "Truth!"

I dance with dozens of young men now, across most all the dance styles. On the one hand, it really isn’t different. Just two bodies dancing, leading and following. The physics and biology are the same.

Except, not! Here are some ways it is very different:

* I worry far less about hurting them. I have seen so many people get seriously hurt on the dance floor over the years, and it is usually (not always) the women, because of the typically large difference in strength. I never want to be the guy that causes serious injury…. So I am super careful and cautious. With men, I can create more compression and momentum and physical force. That can be really fun. Heck, men wrestle with each other… why is dancing any different?

* Many men are absolutely amazing Leads. Lots of women are now good leads, but it takes leading tens of thousands of dances to become amazing. Experiencing that level of Lead connection kind of blows your mind. It is fun!

* And of course, you steal everything you can from every one of them!! And become a better Lead yourself.

Men asking men to dance is still socially awkward. Very much so, depending on the venue and average age of the crowd.

I rarely ask a guy over 50 to dance, for fear of offending. With practice, it is getting easier for me to ask young men. Plus…. Just being seen dancing with men makes it all way easier, so you build up over time.

I have only been ASKED to dance by a younger man once, so far. It is not surprising.. "Old guys don’t dance with men, so don’t offend one by asking him." I understand.

But ask me!!